Things That Make Me Go Mmmmmm...

So...the sun has got its hat on over the last few days and everywhere there are Birkenstocks (hurrah) and sadly there are also Crocs, so we can't have everything.  We also have the deeply unpleasant short-sleeved man's summer work shirt which makes a bloke look like he should be working in Maccy D's and asking everyone if they "would like fries with that". If I see a chap wearing a combination of Crocs and a short-sleeved work shirt I may offer fashion advice.

No. Not a good look.

Wedding season is upon us and from now on until the autumn and beyond people everywhere are making commitments to each other and having whizz-bang parties to celebrate, which makes me happy.  As you know, my organs of opinion regarding clients' choice of colour, style and theme for their wedding have been surgically removed but entre nous, there are things that I just love and I thought that you may want to hear about them:

Civil Partnerships
Contrary to common perception, the very first civil partnership took place in a hospice in Sussex on 5th December 2005 where one partner was terminally ill - a sad but poignant commitment between two men who loved each other and which was conducted by the delightful Father John McCormack, whom I am privileged to know.  Since then, thousands of same-sex couples have cemented their relationship in this way and long may it continue.

"FJ", doing what he does best at a recent civil partnership

Our government is currently wobbling a bit over gay marriage but given that this is a natural next step, I expect to see this legislation passed in the next couple of years or so.  OK, I understand that this is controversial but since love doesn't discriminate, why should we?

Civil Ceremonies
Don't confuse these with civil partnerships, although of course a CP is a civil ceremony, if you see what I mean.  Did you know that the Marriages (Approved Premises) Regulations Act of 1995 (oddly, an ex boyfriend of mine was instrumental in creating this legislation - don't ask) allows marriages to take place in hotels, stately homes, civil halls etc without compromising the fundamental principles of English marriage law? Hey, is your life enhanced by this news?

What it means is that you can get married (and have a CP since 2005) at approved premises, in addition to a church or at a register office.  Where you can't get married is in your back garden, or in a tent, or any other temporary structure or on most forms of transport.

Why is this so cool?  Well it means that:

• you can get married and have your reception in the same place
• you don't have to organise extra transport
• you can go a bit artistic with themes, colours and fancy styles
• although there are legally required "words" during the ceremony, you can add extra vows, songs, poems, you name it.  Lovely.
• you're still legally married!

What this also means, sadly is £ signs in the eyes of venue managers, but I will say no more on this for the time being.

PS: If you live in Brighton, you CAN get married at the Bandstand!  Result!

Flowers
My favourite aspect of any wedding, flowers are sooooo lovely and can transform a plain venue into something very special indeed.  The industry is very competitive, for every one of me there are 15 or so florists and not every one of them provides a good service so take your time to do your homework when selecting one or employ me to select an excellent range for you to choose from. Make sure that you see a portfolio and that you check and double-check delivery times and locations on your wedding day.  You have been warned!

Ah, lovely flaars

Pearls
Those who know me will acknowledge that I absolutely love pearls: they throw light onto your face and good quality ones last for years if you look after them properly. New funky styles mean that they're no longer jewellery that your granny wore. Also, they're uniquely feminine and suit a light-coloured wedding ensemble beautifully.  If you ask me nicely, I can be the "borrowed" element of your special day as I have quite a few lovely pieces - oooh I say.

love love love

Themed Tents
I guess I'll have to name-check the Arabian Tent Company here.  Based in Sussex, this amazing company hires tents and equally importantly, all the decorative drapes, innards and furniture to go with them and the colours are amazing.  If you're looking for the unusual, you could do a lot worse than give this company a call:

http://www.arabiantents.com/gallery_arabian.html?view=slideshow


Fairy Lights
I know - bizarre, but I just luuuurve these special twinkly lights that sit behind draping or get wrapped around beams; you can even get some that turn on and off randomly and even change colour - I know! Forgive me if you hate fairy lights, I promise you don't have to have them if you don't want to. :-(

Ooh, there's posh

Brighton
Yes, I know I know. A tad biased is what I am... but Brighton really is the wedding destination of choice for so many people and in my opinion if you're getting hitched here, make sure it's "iconic" Brighton with pics of you and your beloved with the beach in the background or the Pier, or even the Brighton Pavilion (you can get married at the Pavilion, too). And beyond that...

Sussex
Just 10 minutes' drive from Beckingham Towers and you're out into rolling hills and countryside, fabulous pubs (apparently!) and great open spaces for long walks before stuffing your face at a local hostelry.  Sussex also has terrific venues for weddings, far too numerous for me to outline here so give me a call if you 'd like me to short-list some for you.

So, that's it for now - there's a lot of stuff I love when it comes to weddings but if I carry on listing them you'll all lose the will to live.  There are also loads of aspects which I hate and loathe (greedy people mainly)...I may do a blog about this but Carter Ruck could chase me for libel so I'll have to talk in code or something.

On another note, watch out for some exciting news about a great new wedding venue in central Brighton - yours truly is involved!

If you'd like some help with your wedding or civil partnership, not necessarily involving any of the above, not even fairy lights, give Susan Beckingham a call on 07816 684 756.

More Stuff I Do Not Necessarily Involving Spreadsheets

What what what?  Surely there can’t be more, I hear you cry.  Why, Miss Beckingham, you are really spoiling us with your second blog in two days.  I feel I’m turning into that nice lady from Love my Dress.  

I met a lovely florist today:  Her name is Amy O’Boyle from Wookie Flowers and she specialises in fantastic floral design for weddings and special events.  Check out her website here:

http://www.wookieflowers.com/#!

Our British cultural resistance to wedding planners never ceases to amaze me: planning your wedding or civil partnership can take up to 250 hours – that’s about five weeks’ full time work; five whole weeks of trying and failing to get hold of people, becoming stressed, falling out with your bridesmaid and deciding that you hate your husband-to-be.

So...what other things are part of the mix? (“part of the mix”? Good God)

Negotiation

You may also like to know that before I jumped off the corporate ship, I had a 20 year + career in business and I know how to negotiate to get the best deal for you. I’m afraid that there are lots of brown envelopes with cash in them in the wedding industry (this would shock you and will be the subject of another blog) but I’m an independent wedding planner and although I know people who are grrrrrrrreeeaat, any cost reductions are passed on to you.

Also, couples often don’t know how much services should cost – why should they, most of them don’t make a habit of getting married on a frequent basis – and I understand how much someone should be charging and how much return on investment a charge should bring.

Tip: Don’t go with the cheapest supplier, make your decision on whether you like them – it’s as simple as that.  Rude and unhelpful people abound in the wedding sector, don’t be bullied by them they will probably be run over by a bus anyway.

Set Up

Before the Big Day or on the morning of your wedding, I’m most likely getting stuck in,  climbing up and down ladders and dressing your venue in the style of your choice.  My services in this aspect are flexible as I expect you’d want to get involved to a greater or lesser degree.  Or...perhaps you’re soooo chilled that you’re having your nails done at The Treatment Rooms.   

If you need a calm wedding best friend, I can be at your house from 7.00am on the day, making you some scrambled eggs. As a third party in effect “in charge”, I’m good at making sure everyone knows the schedule and that when I tell them not to bother you with stuff, they do what I say!

You must eat this on the morning of your wedding day.  It's the Law.

Any issues are directed in my general direction whilst you have another sneaky glass of champagne; oh, and I stop you drinking too much before you get in the car with your Dad.  Honestly, is there no beginning to my genius?

 Special Nice Things

There are lots of things absolutely to love about weddings but I love love love The Dress.  You wouldn’t believe how many wonderful talented wedding dress designers are out there – one day I shall name them all and you will thank me for it.

In the meantime you may like to take advantage of my Let’s Try on Wedding Dresses Day, err, OK I need to call it something a bit better than that but it includes you, me and your Mum or Bridesmaid and here’s how it works:

• A posh car transports you to three separate local dress designers
• You get the chance to try on various dress styles
• I take pix or video on my iPad
• We have lunch somewhere nice...
• We review styles/pictures over a glass of champagne at The Grand (or elsewhere!) at the end of the day
• I email you the pix or video afterwards·      

I know – a bit of a horrible job but someone has to do it.  There is an extra charge for this but I can tell you’re already thinking about it, aren’t you?

When it’s All Over

Normally, my services are completed at the end of your wedding day but for an extra fee, I will: 

• Oversee clear-up of the venue the next morning
• Deliver wedding presents which have been stored at the venue
• Bring round your wedding flowers (Aaaw!) if you want to keep enjoying them
• Return hired suits etc
• Assist with "thank you" letters and take care of correspondence

Shopping Trips

Yes, really.  If you’d like to me accompany you to get your accessories, you will soon understand that I have a passion for jewellery, an expert eye for colour and a bit of a thing for shoes. 

Update Meetings and Reports

Obvious really, but every week I send you an update of what’s been done and what’s on the To Do list for the following seven days; this keeps you up to speed and enables you and your other half to see where you are in the planning process.

Additionally, I encourage regular face-to-face meetings, not only to let you know what’s going on but to understand any worries you may have and to offer advice.  It’s really OK, you know, I’ve got it all in hand.

Costs

Just to remind you, all services are included in my fee, apart from the Dress Day and any services the day after the wedding.  Gosh, I’m rather good value really, aren’t I?

So...that’s all for now – there’s probably more stuff but “Pointless” on BBC1 is starting soon and I can’t decide whether I fancy Alexander Armstrong or that clever Richard bloke the most. What do you think?

Susan

x

If you’d like Susan Beckingham to help plan your wedding, call 07816 684 756

What I Actually Do and How Excel is Involved (Quite a Lot)

Actually, I swan around a lot and drink champagne all day (burp).  OK, I don't do this but what happens after you've signed our contract?  Here's the low-down on the realities of hiring Perfect Day.   


First off a Big Hello to Sally at The Point Hairdressers in Brighton, the town's best independent salon.  They offer offer hair styling services for weddings, which I recommend. Give them a call on 01273 819 538.


So, back to it.  What do I do?


OK, I start by...


...asking lots of questions over the course of one or two meetings: there's a sort of "wide to narrow" format, clarifying the "big" things - the size of the wedding, preferred location etc -  and then narrowing down to the finer details regarding colour, style and so on. This gives me a good idea of what I like to call my "vision", darling.  If neither of you has the first clue about any of this, no problemo, it's my job to present ideas to you at a later meeting.


After this, I toddle off to summarise what we've talked about and do a lot of this:

Oh OK.  What next?


These aren't just ordinary spreadsheets, these are Perfect Day spreadsheets and they have superpowers.  Our initial meeting will have clarified your wedding budget and which aspects of the wedding are of most significance.  I have a spreadsheet which lists "budget" vs "actual" spend and means that I keep a tight rein to make sure you don't go over budget.  How cool is that?


As an option, I offer a special service for busy people: I maintain a client account for customers to transfer a fixed sum into on a regular basis to the value of your wedding budget.  Invoices are then settled by Perfect Day without you having to worry about paying people on time.  


And then...


I do the research on finding:


A venue
A dress designer
Outfits for the Groom
Caterers
Florists
Cake maker
Photographers
Entertainment 
and so on...everything you need me to.


I will have vetted each of these key people/venues before presenting them to you and each choice specifically reflect what you have already told me you want (and don't want).  I short-list six of each and if none of them are suitable I start again.  Myth Buster:  I don't make decisions for you.  Ever.  Just thought that you should know that.


Hey, I didn't know that.  Do you come to meetings with us?


Yes. I accompany you on as many meetings to meet suppliers as you'd like. I organise times and dates, pick you up in my shiny car and we make a day of it - it's fun, it means that you don't have to drive and also that we can review all options afterwards; clients like this bit as it feels like they're being spoilt, which of course, they are. 


Remember, planning a wedding is seriously time-consuming and stressful so...here I am:

What about all those Things to Do? 


I create a Wedding Timeline which outlines in a lot of detail what needs to be done and when. This is our "bible" and nothing gets missed; this may mean a bit of nagging on my part but hey, I know you love me really.


Great.  Anything else?


Oh yes.  Don't forget that hiring a wedding planner to manage the nightmare that is your Guest List is worth the price of admission alone.  All invitees are asked to RSVP to me and I maintain another *cough* annoying spreadsheet to keep track of who's responded and who, for some reason, hasn't bothered to. So...worry not about who's coming to both the ceremony and the reception, the reception only, whether they're "gluten intolerant", a vegan, a Jedi Knight or any somesuch combination. 


Oh yes, part 2.  I also have spreadsheets for table planning and we can  sit together to work this out without driving you to complete wibbly wobbly distraction.


Will you manage our wedding day for us?


Yes, absolutely - if you're on a budget, hiring a wedding planner (pick me, please) to manage your special day is money well spent indeedy doody.   


Oddly, this doesn't involve spreadsheets but I suppose it could do if you're keen.  My wedding day schedules, although I say it myself are legendary and have featured on Radio 4.  OK, I made that last part up but I'm really really good at them and I miss nothing.

Someone organised this small family wedding right down to the second!

The Schedule gets put together about five weeks before the Big Day and is then tweaked; remember that I will already have confirmed all your bookings (and will do this again the day before) so all comings and goings are listed in 15 minute slots, including all contact details and important Things to Know.  If you ever see a wedding planner with a clipboard, it will no doubt be The Schedule that's on it. 


The benefit of this document is that you can rest assured that everything will be kept to time and that yes, you've guessed it, there is less stress for you and your family.  


Oh, And...


I have a Wedding Emergency Kit with Stuff in it.  It's a big holdall with four different types of painkillers, stain removers, batteries, safety pins, spare power cables, mints and hair grips; string, a torch, tampons, hairspray, water, pens, a screwdriver set, glue and quite frankly, the Kit is quite fab. 


So...these are just a few examples of what I actually do. Give me a call on 07816 684 756 if you'd like to meet.  I suppose, though, that one of the best ways I help people is simply by being there - I am your wedding best friend and I am available to talk and to meet up out-of-hours. Gosh, I'm so good I think I may just marry myself. 


Susan
x